Ode to Loderunner: Gaming one whiskey at a time
Posted 07/14/12 at 4:14 PM by Utnayan
In the halls of Steam, glorious games continue this week to remain on sale. As our backlogs continue to fill, and our wallets continue to pay Gabe donut money... there comes a time when I decided to write my first blog. Dedicated to the one person, the miracle of life, that makes logging into Steam bearable. The games, playable. The co-op, toastable. 80's songs over vent, tolerable. The one person who has been through my digital life adventure, other than Kaubel, is... No one other, than Loderunner.
It is because of this, the one and only God of Gaming, (GoG) that I am able to enjoy games such as Worms, Portal 2, Left for Dead 2, while learning how to play DOTA 2. Having my dreams crushed when I buy a co-op game on sale, and Loderunner telling me he would rather beat off with a cheese grater than play it with me. But yet, I persist. And like the love of an unconditional parent, Loderunner is there to dry my tears of sadness, and turn them into drunken hilarity - of the likes you will never want to witness on youtube.
Portal Adventures with Lode and Uncle Ut pt. 1 - YouTube
As the days go on and on, I look back fondly at my gaming days. Playing Intellivision with my cousin while listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart and Duran Duran. Watching, helpelessly, as he would trip my hockey guy without the puck and never get a penalty. While his NFL Football play, 9-2-2-9 (The Hail Mary) burned me everytime. That home run shot. The disapointment I had when I had to go home and play an inferior Atari 2600, where I would hope the graphics on the back of the box was a printing error... Only to be crushed, when realizing yes, those were the graphics. You know... The feeling you got when you thought you got to the last bridge in River Raid, but no...
But now, with a microphone, beer, and the occasional electronic cigarette - the amount of progress we have made really is astounding for just how messed up this entire industry is. Thanks to folks like Zoid, who made Metroid Prime possible, with the touch of his programming genius, I can get drunk and play games with a quick dash of a finger with my long lost digital brother.
So here is to you, Loderunner. As the Steam sales progress, and you wait ever so patiently while I am hammered and try to figure out how to enter Ventrillo which I have done millions of times before but my brain cells have been whittled away to 4, I see a bright future of co-op and competitive gaming hilarity in our future.
Remember, and remember this next bit of advice well. If you can't join them, troll the fuck out of them and laugh from the stands.
Love always,
-Andy Kaufman.
It is because of this, the one and only God of Gaming, (GoG) that I am able to enjoy games such as Worms, Portal 2, Left for Dead 2, while learning how to play DOTA 2. Having my dreams crushed when I buy a co-op game on sale, and Loderunner telling me he would rather beat off with a cheese grater than play it with me. But yet, I persist. And like the love of an unconditional parent, Loderunner is there to dry my tears of sadness, and turn them into drunken hilarity - of the likes you will never want to witness on youtube.
Portal Adventures with Lode and Uncle Ut pt. 1 - YouTube
As the days go on and on, I look back fondly at my gaming days. Playing Intellivision with my cousin while listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart and Duran Duran. Watching, helpelessly, as he would trip my hockey guy without the puck and never get a penalty. While his NFL Football play, 9-2-2-9 (The Hail Mary) burned me everytime. That home run shot. The disapointment I had when I had to go home and play an inferior Atari 2600, where I would hope the graphics on the back of the box was a printing error... Only to be crushed, when realizing yes, those were the graphics. You know... The feeling you got when you thought you got to the last bridge in River Raid, but no...
But now, with a microphone, beer, and the occasional electronic cigarette - the amount of progress we have made really is astounding for just how messed up this entire industry is. Thanks to folks like Zoid, who made Metroid Prime possible, with the touch of his programming genius, I can get drunk and play games with a quick dash of a finger with my long lost digital brother.
So here is to you, Loderunner. As the Steam sales progress, and you wait ever so patiently while I am hammered and try to figure out how to enter Ventrillo which I have done millions of times before but my brain cells have been whittled away to 4, I see a bright future of co-op and competitive gaming hilarity in our future.
Remember, and remember this next bit of advice well. If you can't join them, troll the fuck out of them and laugh from the stands.
Love always,
-Andy Kaufman.
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I'M NOT PLAYING DEAD ISLAND THAT GAME IS HORRIBLE
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CMON!
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