I was banned several days ago for asking whether slam or HS was the way to go for Arms warriors as of last patch. The reason given for my ban by mod Bartolimu was "idiot." During my exile, I sat in humble contemplation of this incredibly articulate and insightful critique, and did much soul searching. And I make the following, humble reply-

To Moderator Bartolimu, with all due respect*:

Fuck yourself bloody, you God-blessed cocksmoking mongoloid troglodyte.

I hate you and everyone who looks like you. I hate you with fire. Go eat a bag of deep-fried pustulence then vomit yourself unconscious. I hope your teeth fall out. I hope you get Alzheimer's. I hope you contract boils, cataracts, chlamydia, dementia, hemorrhoids, gout, shingles and leprosy whereupon you die alone, homeless, and reviled.

You know, it might look like this is a contemptuous smirk on my face, but that's only because that is *exactly* what it is. You are not nearly as important as you think you are. You are not special. When the Apocalypse comes and they're looking for that core cadre of people to go down into the caves to ensure the survival of the species - you ain't making the cut. You're out in the shit with the rest of us. So step off the high moral and intellectual high horse you've sadly appointed yourself, go to the mirror, look at yourself and say "Thank God I don't get kicked in the balls every day like I deserve, even if the world would be a better place for it."

In closing, the secondary and tertiary effects of your position on this forum will *not* have costs measured in human life. This is a fucking forum regarding a fucking video game. You are not curing cancer, flying around the world looking for terrorists and shooting them in the face or running into burning buildings and dragging dying people out (I do one of the three). Again, you are moderating a forum board of a video game. I find your pedantic narcissism to be contemptible and-as will naturally follow-wish for you to consume fecal matter and perish forthwith.**

Best wishes. Have the greatest day ever.

*as long as you preface with the phrase "with all due respect", you can say whatever you want. It's in the Geneva Convention. Look it up.
** I've been told to try to close one's written communiques with a summation of your most salient points in order to add symmetry and enhance reader cognition. Does it work?

You guys know the drill.

Week? Kaubel, I'm hurt. I thought I'd be worth at least a fortnight.

It's your world, boss.

If only he had put as much effort into reading and his first post as into this indignant rage-fueled response. I have to say this was one of more entertaining mod-sasses I've read on these forums, so thanks for sharing.

I do feel his post could've been further enhanced had he used the thesaurus to find some equivalent terms to replace that overdose of "fucking". It hurts the overall tone by becoming repetitive. One possible suggestion would be "sexual intercoursing". Sure, it doesn't roll off the tongue like a good fucking does, but anything to keep the reader interested, right?

//edit: forgot something

Something like this?

What this thread needs is more pink unicorns!

Insults should roll off the tongue with a certain finesse. This one sounds like he's bitching someone out with a mouth full of bread.

Also, "mongoloid troglodyte" makes as much sense as "milf-loving pederast".

Well I can safely say that of the 3 things this forum doesn't do, this guy definitely isn't curing cancer.

I'm pretty sure Gelorak is not flying round the world shooting terrorists in the face either. If he was, he wouldn't be playing WoW and he sure as hell wouldn't be here, begging to be told how to play an Arms Warrior while simultaneously attempting to win the Academy Award for Best Ventriloquism While Cum-Gargling. Endgame raiding these days mainly comprises flying round the world hitting people of a different religion in the face for wanting to destroy our way of life, so he'd know how to play if he was doing it already.

I am entirely happy to think of Gelorak running into burning buildings, though he does spoil it a little by running out again.

So here is my favorite part, even when I got the opportunity to report this diatribe;

"You are not nearly as important as you think you are. You are not special. When the Apocalypse comes and they're looking for that core cadre of people to go down into the caves to ensure the survival of the species - you ain't making the cut. You're out in the shit with the rest of us. So step off the high moral and intellectual high horse you've sadly appointed yourself, go to the mirror, look at yourself and say "Thank God I don't get kicked in the balls every day like I deserve, even if the world would be a better place for it.""

One small part of a large post telling someone they are not special or important, all the while proving otherwise in its failed attempt to tell a mod off.

"You suck so much I'm going to spend 30 minuets of my life I'll never get back with my nose in a thesaurus to tell you how unimportant you are to me. Call me!!"

Got to love the irony of his multiple fails.

Rainbow dolphin avatar activate.

Mortal Strike is actually your best ability as an Arms warrior. I am glad I could be of assistance.

Guys that is probably really hilarious in a sad way but I'm still trying to figure out what Neil Patrick Harris is saying. Has anyone run a lip-reading algorithm on it?

What amuses me is, Bart has already contributed more to the world's scientific knowledge than the "troglodyte" who lashed out in rage ever will.

"Sarcasm, that's original."

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If bartolimu isn't special, then there isn't much hope for me. But at least Gelorak is special and so is Charlie Sheen.

hey cool, you found Thesaurus.com | Free Online Thesaurus of Synonyms and Antonyms too. I first went there to unearth pictures of dinosaurs, but as an alternative was able to stumble on healthier terminology in an endeavor to make me look more smarter. Microsoft word says that's an acceptable sentance so I'm going with it.

You're all jealous cause this dude is WINNING.