I was supposed to have my own section in that FAQ, but they apparently had to remove it, because it wasn't on the official site. Oh well. I found the part they edited out, anyway.

A Slug Q&A:

Slug: In the expansion, can I join The Burning Crusade in an effort to destroy the faggot Blood Elves and everything else cute?

Blizzard: No. In case you missed the memo, the burning legion are trying to destroy Azeroth. They're the bad guys.

Slug: But I like them. They have a low ratio of candyasses in their ranks and their infernals aren't neutered like mine.

Blizzard: Sorry. You're not supposed to like the badguys or be powerful at all. You get elves and toy infernals.

---

Slug: Can Thrall trade the Blood Elf alliance for something that doesn't suck balls? How about ogres? I like ogres. At least they're ugly. I joined horde so I could avoid and/or kill the people who like playing cute characters.

Blizzard: Sorry, no. We can't give bloodlusted ogres to the horde as that would overpower you and force us to nerf warlocks some more to compensate. We realize you were trying to avoid fanbois by choosing the side we eternally try our best to screw, but tough luck. Vivindi said we had to.

Slug: But Bloodlust isn't even a warlock ability...?

Blizzard: What does that have to do with anything?

---

Slug: So I'm stuck with these closet homo elf-lovers?

Blizzard: It's that or EQ2, I'm afraid. You have our sympathies, for what it's worth.

---

Slug: Will we ever get a class rep that actually...

Blizzard: You have one.

Slug: Does he even have a warlock? Has he seen one before?

Blizzard: He's busy playing his blood elf mage on the internal test server, but he does indeed have a warlock. I've seen it. He even played it once.

Slug: But will we ever...

Blizzard: Honestly?

Slug: Yeah.

Blizzard: Not a prayer. Warlocks aren't cute or important enough for our main playerbase to care, so we can avoid them without much of a repercussion. Anything else?

Slug: Can I at least get increased bankspace?

Blizzard: That's something we'd actually like to do for you. Really. It would kill our database servers, though.

Slug: Oh.

Blizzard: Yeah. Anyway, I gotta go PvP with my DPS paladin. See ya.

======

In other news, I'm finding out that almost my entire guild are actually closet elf-loving homos that mistakenly rolled horde instead of the pathetic NE's they should've made from the start. Newladin, I no longer care that you're a grammatically challenged paladin. You can join my new guild when the expansion hits. It'll be called "Elitist Jerk and a Pally", because that's pretty much all that'll be left once these Elitist Elflovers get the expansion.

My own kin have betrayed me. Damn you Elfan. Damn you Octo. Look what you've done.

/me weeps helplessly.

Hey, I just want to be a Blood Elf because I'm a huge faggot.

Well, at least you're honest about it.

Yeah we do appreciate honesty.

Torm was the biggest disappointment to me. I was crushed to find him a closet elf-lover. :(

Hey, at least there are still plenty of us that hate the fucking elves. TROLL FORCES UNITE.

I'm only rolling a Blood Elf chick because I can sort of get away with dancing naked in Org then...

There's no time for this. You have to poopsock it to 70 on one of your mains and trivialize what Blizzard considers the "standard" time to level once again. :D

BUT DO THEY FLIP?

Hey, these aren't faggot tree-hugger elves like the Night Elves. These are elves that lust after dark magics and demonic powers. They are badasses, and I don't care what you say.

Besides, the female blood elves do the Mia Wallace dance from Pulp Fiction, and they do a helicopter 360 when they jump. You really don't need anything more than that.

Except they look like something from Zelda or some stupid anime shit.

We all know this is the most important question.

Blood elves seem like your 12 year old brother that tries his best to be hardcore to impress his friends while still being fags at the same time. At least night elves are honest about their faggotry. :V:

Why the hell would I start over with a new character anyways? Someone explain this concept to me :(

I mean, sure, try out the elf homeland of faggotry for a couple levels, but spend 50 more days playing it?

This change excited me because now I can go the new starting area they day it comes out and kill faggoty elves all night long.

Fuck them for having a better dance than me.

My dream to play a Blood Elf Mage has come true.

Or hell, maybe I'll do Warlock. I wish their models were in so I could mess with armor in the model viewer. :3

This is exactly why they need to offer a way to change your race. Either through paying, or some sort of quest. No one who has been playing since release will want to re-gather all their epic gear that they have on their characters now.

In EQ they didnt do this, so in order to get the new races/classes into the raid game, a guild would choose someone to powerlevel and poopsock their way to max level then get them immediately into the new raid zones so they could gear up. That shits just dumb.

Master race. At least we have Mistik back in spirit. So that's 3.5 troll shaman in guild.

Blood Elf = Elf
Night Elf = Elf
Elf = Race played by homosexuals

therefore Blood Elf = Race played by homosexuals

Sorry the math is correct and you can't argue

and there you have it

That's not right.

By your logic:

Blood Elf = Elf
Night Elf = Elf

Therefore

Blood Elf = Night Elf

THAT ISN'T RIGHT

No they don't flip like us! They are different.


But do you know what would be cool? One of those in game model Avatars of a flipping night elf hunter.

Maybe if I finish this essay. :(

UGH fuck this weekend!