Were the servers able to handle the AQ opening events properly, the invasion itself would have been an extremely enjoyable event. Unfortunately, the designers at Blizzard are apparently still being allowed to function 99.9% removed from the true reality of the game they're designing things for.
This event was so frustratingly annoying, it caused me to openly swear at Hellsoap in guildchat for no good reason. That's pretty bad, because I'm a mostly nice guy and I like Hellsoap. When your mate calls you up and asks "Hey...are you gonna get on for the once in a lifetime server event?", you should not have to decide whether or not it's worth even trying to suffer through.
Yeah, someone screwed up bigtime.
Some people asked me to make a "Slug post" on the topic. They were probably kidding, but I was drunk by then so I pretend they were interested in what I thought of it all. The first three sentences to fly off my keyboard upon finally making it into the game yesterday were vulgarities. If the lunar festival hadn't been in effect, there was no way in hell I'd have ever made it over to Kalimdor from UC. Good luck on the blimp during heavy server load. During the second worldserver crash, I went to the liquor store and got back before my Character Select screen had gotten around to finding my characters.
I got exactly what I expected out of the event. Minimal faction, massive repair bills, and a headache. I'd have leveled my priest, but she was unfortunately in one of the lagged up event zones and I couldn't even log her on successfully all day long. I may get around to a decent personal write-up tomorrow, because it wasn't all bad and I enjoyed some things. I need to sleep before work, though.
I was originally going to post the following in another thread, but it fits much better in this one.
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Originally Posted by diospadre,February 13th, 2006 @ 12:20AM
I'm really at a loss as to what exactly Blizzard was thinking when they designed this mess.
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I lifted what I believe to be a transcript of one of their internal meetings on this exact thing...
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Suit: It's gotta be big. And fun. Fun, too! I mean...we're making the alliance farm lots of linen and they have tanks and stuff, right? You can give the horde some pointed sticks or something. We're on the same page here, right? I mean...y'know...
Designer A: Oh, you don't have to worry about that. We're with ya.
Suit: See, cause my son's female Night Elf...
Lead Designer: (Shh, keep it on the DL. The engineer is in the room.)
Lead Network Engineer:: Look, about this event thing...we've been trying to tell you for months that...
Lead Designer: We're not alliance-centric! We love the horde! I have an undead hunter on another server! Quick! Write down that the horde should have patrolling wolf riders!
Engineer: No. It's not about that. It's about all these bugs and events and things you want to do. The mail and item lag from the collection stuff alone has been awful so we need to...
Designer B: Oooh, yeah! Lots of bugs. LOADS! When they open the gate, they'll just swarm out! I can see it now! We'll do some scripted events at the gates and the whole server can come and it'll be AWESOME!
Engineer: No...see, the whole server can't come. That's what I'm trying to explain.
Designers & Suits: Huh?
Engineer: You can't do stuff like that. It's stupid. The server will take a dump, guaranteed.
Suit: Speak English, for God's sakes.
Engineer: Dumping is bad.
Suit: For servers?
Engineer: Correct.
Suit: Oh. Whew. Okay.
Engineer: So, if you'll just give me a minute to explain...
Lead Designer: Well we don't want our servers dumping all over the place. Okay. But why has this problem not been addressed already? This game has been going for over a year. Why are you just bringing this information to us now?
Engineer: We have brought it to you. Multiple times. You just never listen.
Lead Designer: Oh.
Suit: Hey! I was just looking at this planner and it says there are warlocks in the game as a playable Blood Elf class!? I can't wait for the expansion! They'll get pets and everything!
Designer A: I think warlocks are in the game right now, actually, sir.
Suit: No shit? Wow. How come I never noticed them?
Engineer: Night Elves can't be warlocks, sir.
Suit: Oh. That's why, then. Somebody get on that one.
Designer A: But sir, it doesn't fit the lore.
Suit: Then bend the lore. It's not like people read all that stuff, anyway.
Engineer: Ready to listen?
Suit: Yes. Sorry.
Engineer: See, we figured out from Orgrimmar and Ironforge that if you get more than 72 players in the same general area at the same time the server starts to take a dump, right?
Lead Designer: Then why did you tell us we could have 80 in AV?
Engineer We knew that at any one time, no less than half of those 80 people would be afk in town leeching honor instead of actually fighting, so we okayed it just that once. It was still a bad idea.
Lead Designer: Ah.
Suit: Okay. 72 people isn't a lot in this game, is it? I know that. We have like 5 million subscribers. I read it somewhere. So who cares if those 72 people get inconvenienced once and a while?
Engineer: At 72, it's unstable, yet manageable. Any higher and it gets really bad very quickly. When the number gets to a certain point, we reach critical mass on player characters in an area and the server dumps. It crashes the whole continent.
Suit: Did you notice that big word?
Inconvenienced. I used a big word. I even know what it means. You're not the only nerd in the room, you know.
Engineer: Yes. It's okay. Now...
Designer A: That's bull, anyhow. If we were crashing the whole continent, someone would have contacted our ISPs or something to tell us. I'd think the US would notice their internet dumping.
Engineer: The continent in the game.
Suit: There are continents in the game?
Engineer: Yeah.
Designer B: (Told you there were continents! Pay up.)
Designer A: Dammit.
Suit: Whole continents? How do you...
Engineer: When it goes down, everyone gets bumped off and angry.
Suit: Angry is bad.
Lead Designer: Aha! So it's more than 57 people that cause it to crash! Okay. We understand now. We'll want to avoid that in the events, right? Dumping?
Engineer: 72 people. Right. Thank goodness you're finally listening to us. We've got it all laid out, see...
Designer A: I know how to fix it! Maybe if we reduce the number of scripted events they won't break so often and people can enjoy it more?
Lead Designer: Scripted events are cool. People love them. We can't take them out because it's one of the few things people universally love about the game. Sometimes they break for a bit, but you just restart the servers and all, right?
Engineer: No, you have to spread people out. Give them a reason to be anywhere BUT silithus or it's going to be a total disaster.
Designer A: How? Why?
Engineer: I don't know. Just do it. If you let the whole server go to the same place at the same time, it'll be like the TM/SS lagfest zerg wars all over again.
Designer A: I still maintain that the TM/SS zerg wars were the high point of PvP in this game. BG's are awesome, but the TM/SS stuff was REALLY awesome if you weren't trying to level there and it didn't even have a point to it. Sure, it lagged and crashed and was very nearly unplayable some evenings, but it was neat.
Suit: Zerg is from Starcraft. I know Starcraft. My kid played Starcraft a lot. They had these little dudes in armor and when you clicked on them they said stuff like "Gotta move!" It wa...
Designer B:I've got an idea! This is AWESOME! How about if we spread the bugs out in all the zones they're already in...somehow...maybe with a spaceship or a warp field or...
Engineer: Yes, they should be spread out! This is good.
Lead Designer: So that'll make people spread out and the server won't dump, right?
Engineer: Theoretically it could, yeah, but...
Suit: Great! So, it's decided. We'll do that.
Designer A: But the main event is in silithus because that's where the gate is. If there are bugs all over, nobody will bother to see all the sweet scripts and things we set up for the silithus invasion. I worked for at least 8 days on the Uldaman boss and 98% of the people in the game have never even seen that encounter. Most people don't even know where Uldaman is. I demand to be heard!
Designer B:We'll put the best stuff there...you know. Events, monsters, all that stuff. That way, everyone will want to go out there and see it. It'll be AWESOME!
Lead Designer: How about if we make the ones in Silithus give lots of rep and rewards and the ones everywhere else give 5 rep and crap loot? We can also make them spawn really slow, by comparison. Put the super cool monsters near the gate, itself. It even fits lore, since they're weaker the further you get from the main source. Kinda give the players a nudge in the right direction without actually forcing them, you know?
Engineer: No, wait...see, this won't fix anything... Good lord, you derailed within 10 seconds of having a good ide...
Designer B: Thanks for your input. This'll be AWESOME! Woah...it's 4:20. That means times up, guys.
Engineer: But...
Suit: Meeting adjourned, or whatever that phrase is. Time to hit the bar for some long island iced teas. Great work, everyone. Raises for the designers for coming up with such awesome content. Keep it up!
Designers: Sweet!
[top]
Our heroic, yet downtrodden Network Engineer returns to the batcave.
Engineer A: So, how'd it...oh...you reek of alcohol.
Lead Engineer: Overtime. Next three months. At least. Here. Vodka.
Engineer B: What did they say about the new servers?
Lead Engineer: I didn't even get to talk to them about the database servers and the tradelag or mail issues. Now there's bugs and spaceships and the alliance get tanks and laser beams or some shit. I've got a headache.
Engineer B: Mal'Ganis instance server just crashed. 4 guilds were trying to do Razorgore at the same time or something, I think. It's cool, though. We're rebooting.
Designer C: Don't worry guys. I'll give the horde guards cool armour and axes and make the Ironforge guys look weak. My buddy will make sure the horde gets a little love in the scripting and stuff.
Engineer B: Doomhammer just crashed again. Part of it, anyway. Looking into it.
Designer C: You guys don't tell any of the design guys I hang down here with you like this, do you?
Engineer A: Nah. It's cool. We appreciate that you look out for us. Underground 4 lyfe, yo.
Designer C: We do what we can. Cheers. What's with the shoulderpads, there?
Engineer A: I'm going to get blitzed on this vodka, go over to the designer's cubefarm dressed like Harod, then do "Blades Of LIGHT!" on their asses with this cardboard tube. It'll be great and they won't even know I'm doing it because I secretly hate them.
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(If you find the above far-fetched or silly, you obviously haven't spent enough time working in a corporate business.)
Real version of a fake-edit: (Okay, confession time. I didn't "lift" a Blizzard meeting transcript, I made it all up. I'm probably much closer to the truth than any of you would care to think, though. Cheers.)