It's that time of year again! Fresh from our looting and pillaging of all recent content, we're looking for a few brave souls to join our Firelands Raggy hard mode expeditions, which will no doubt result in untold amounts of pain and misery, but will finally culminate in more of the looting and pillaging we've all come to love.
So what do we expect? A lot, it turns out. Here's a short list of requirements:
- Ability to construct a coherent sentence. 'u' is a letter, not a word. We recognise that just like me, others also do not have English as a native tongue. You should however be able to express yourself clearly enough that we don't need to convene a council of scholars and linguists every time you string some noises together.
- Mad fire avoidance skills. It's firelands. There's a good chance there is a good deal of fire involved. Based on everything we've seen, it's not the 'stand in this cos its warm' fire, but more of the 'omg it burns, why did you pour napalm on my genitals' kind of fire. Avoiding it is crucial, a proven track record of fire dodging is even more important.
- A death dealing machine of doom. We want you to be able to DPS like it's going out of fashion. Your idea of dps isn't a gentle sedate tapping of a memorised rotation on a target dummy, instead it is a fire breathing desperate race of epic proportions against everyone else. Your rotation and priorities are a matter of muscle memory, you cannot help but pot on every try because damnit, that dirty other mage isn't going to outdps you yet again.
- Group love and team spirit. Obviously, everyone plays for personal gain. However, you're a raider at heart, and you recognise that raiding is a team sport. You rise and fall with the team's progress. You sit out when needed, you are always present, and you offer to pass loot to someone you think needs it more. You have been known to sacrifice actual real life friends because you found that some obscure gods accept sacrifices in return for better raid progression. We don't mean sacrifice in the sense of 'didn't hang out with', but more of the 'ritualistic bloodletting' variety.
- You think 5 nights a week is wimpy, but you're happy to settle for that. We raid 5 nights. Sometimes we raid on a Friday if we can smell a kill. Raid times are from 7:40 or so server time until 11:30.
- You have real man/woman raiding experience. We greatly prefer people who have some actual 'hard' content experience. Saying you did 11/12HC in ICC, while perfectly valid, is not that impressive given that you could have raided with 3 midgets and an ostrich and still managed 11/12. We love people who have done things like Muru, YS-0, LK25 HM, and other serious 'end' content when it was relevant. Anyone who brags about doing SWP post-nerf (or post TBC) should have a good long hard look within, and admit to themselves that they are feeble effeminate raiding worms who aren't worth the bytes it takes to store them.
So you've looked at this list, and scoff at how easy it is to meet all the requirements. What will you get in return?
- The finest raiding Quel'Thalas has to offer. Seriously, it's good stuff. It's raiding crack with no hangover or dodgy dealers. We're #1 on the server and have been for quite a while. Sadly there isn't even any competition any more.
- A stable home full of mostly mature people (we have one 18 year olds, who we constantly taunt).
- A small family that will laugh with you, cry with you, and occasionally say some very inappropriate things to you (no, not just if you're a girl)